Overlord Phiphphafu,
I have been at Rutgers Prep going on five days now, staying
with a student in what they call the 11th grade, and I am ready to
give you my report:
First and foremost, the RPS student
is a bizarre species. They wake up
unnecessarily early and spend a ridiculous amount of time getting dressed and
getting ready to leave the house. I
guess humans have to counter their natural ugliness by spending so much time
making sure their clothes and hair look nice.
Anyways, they hardly eat anything in the morning (no wonder they are so
dispirited in the early hours of school) and they sit through their first two
classes like half-dead blobs.
At 10:20 the students have nosh, when they can have a snack. The students who take part in this mini-meal
all migrate to this really dirty and ugly carpet near the door. They seem scared to leave that square of
carpet for some reason; I think their superiors punish them if they do.
In between 12:00 and 1:20 the
students flock in and out of the Dining
Commons where they eat lunch. I
don’t quite understand the way their lunch works. The food always looks different, but it ends
up tasting the same, I don’t get it. Over
the four day’s I’ve been here, it seems to me that everyday, they take the
previous day’s food and disguise it as something else… And the students fall
for it! When I asked a few students why
they don’t bring their own lunch they answered with something I didn’t fully
understand; their superiors won’t let them eat their own lunch? Doesn’t quite make sense.
I have come to the conclusion that
the population of Rutgers Prep seems to be highly dependent on their food. I think taking away their food before we make
our first moves on their territory would be a good start.
I hope this report will be of use to you as you plan your
attack and overtaking of Somerset County next month.
Sincerely,
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